Photo Journal No. 3
When thinking about how I act and react on a daily basis, I consider my usually calm persona, but that can change quickly if I am stressed out. I have never been part of a “group,” and have always been psychologically an introverted person. With that I am always my ‘self’. As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict I can attest that I wasn’t always my ‘self’, because I was living a double life. I was an actor 24/7, but my secrets were my enemies. I kept my highly intoxicated lifestyle secret from everybody, because I was ashamed of it, and because it was truly not who I can define myself as at heart. After some time in sobriety my brain returned to its normal functioning state, and I can say that today I am my ‘self’ on a daily basis. I choose to have a small circle of friends. I talk to people that I can have intellectual conversations with that have meaning, logic, and theory. I tend to relate more to adults than those who are closer in age to me. I am quiet, calm, collective, extremely observational, and intuitive. I have never been one to perform in front of others. I am an introvert, and always had low self esteem growing up. Low self esteem often makes people act in front of others. In contrast I did not. I have always been a leader, and never someone who followed the crowd. I play the role of a strong, trustworthy friend. I believe my purpose in life is to help people. I am always there for those I care about. No matter what they are going through, even if it is a minor issue I strive to bring clarity, and useful advice. No role that I have conflicts with another role. I am a simple person, and every day I wake up and I am compassionate, and empathetic towards everyone. That role is strongly supported by the immense gratitude I have for life, my friends, family, and the people who reached out to me, and saved me. It supports my role, because I love giving back to the community, and making a difference in people’s life. Whether it is donating blood every sixty days, or restoring a young alcoholics lost sole to sanity. I get satisfaction from it, because I know that today I did something to help somebody. My identity is strongly defined physically. I am always quiet, and reserved. I will only speak up if I have to. Socially I won’t show my identity unless I know the people around me. In a classroom setting nobody will know my identity. My identity is not always socially constructed in a major way.